I am very bad at getting what I want. And I am very bad at acknowledging what I need without apologizing for it. And I am very bad at asking for what I need because I can’t get past apologizing for needing it. I just keep my eyes open for it, in case it might happen along at an opportune moment. Because that’s the only way I’ll truly deserve what I get if/when I get what I need?

But I stay busy giving everyone else whatever they want from me, whether they deserve it or not.

I am a warm body, I will do in a pinch. I will satiate, cuddle, amuse, and comfort you. Until you are ready to drop me because your primary decides you need to be monogamous again.

Beautiful people of the world, please reject me! I cannot get enough of it, apparently.

It doesn’t matter where you are, a night alone is a night alone. Tempur-pedic NASA foam in a swank apartment is just as lonely as a hand-me-down twin mattress on the floor of a room you call your own if you’re the only one on it… as always.

A: Hey, want to hang out tonight?
B: I can’t, I have other plans. How about tomorrow?
A: I can’t, I have other plans tomorrow.
B: Damn.

A invites B to do something, B declines, yet A ends up feeling guilty afterward? I have too many conversations like this, and fuck that.

I would like to find the prankster that told all young men that “let’s sleep together for a second time” means “I Need a Serious Relationship with you” and deprive them of something valuable.

I made a move on someone that I really like, and he thought I was joking. Said that I was so funny! Shared it with friends.

It’s gotten so bad that now (since then) I only make passes that can also be considered jokes, so when my offer is inevitably rejected as laughable, I can manage to laugh it off with them. It’s the only way I can go on.

Isn’t life just so terrible Sometimes?

write songs practice piano eat better exercise more read more drink less clean walk across spain avoid socially depressing situations take photos ride a bike don’t be shy don’t post personal or emotional things on facebook spend money more wisely eliminate debt don’t be so sensitive wear makeup to look pretty shave legs establish and pursue career goals keep better contact with family don’t dwell on the past and please try to avoid socially depressing situations

I think I have to face the fact that I’m just not really interested in casual sex. Sex, yes of course, but I just care too much to be able to do casual sex anymore. And I think that makes me a deviant in this town.

People don’t believe me when I say that I’m shy about approaching people I don’t know. I know it’s because I’m an extrovert. But a shy one. I know it’s an uncommon combination, but I’m a rather uncommon kind of person, so it works.

I’m going to rip my heart out and put it on your sleeve. See how that makes you feel.

You know when you’ve got a movie at home from Netflix but you decide you don’t really want to watch it, but you feel like it is such a waste of money and time if you just send it back without watching it, so you keep it around for a while thinking that maybe you will change your mind about it and want to watch it eventually, and it sits there for months and all that time you could’ve watched so many other movies for the same cost, and then you just send it back without watching it anyway and feel like a failure for a week?

I want to go to Antarctica.

Specifically, I would really like to do some kind of artist fellowship there, but I can’t find any current information about the program.